Typical reasons why Sexual Abuse/assault Victims don't Report

leigh milne
May 13, 2024
4 min read

Many people who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault find it extremely difficult to seek support, disclose their experiences, or make a formal report.

There is no "right" way to respond to trauma. Every person's experience, circumstances, cultural background, support network, and emotional readiness are different.

While some individuals choose to report what has happened, others may decide not to report, may delay reporting, or may remain uncertain about what they want to do. These responses can all be part of the complex ways people respond to traumatic experiences.

The concerns outlined below are not universal, but they reflect themes commonly discussed by individuals in psychological, medical, and support service settings.

Fear of Emotional Overwhelm

For many people, talking about traumatic experiences can feel emotionally confronting.

Common concerns may include:

"I'm scared that if I talk about it, I'll fall apart."
"It feels too overwhelming to put into words."
"I'm worried that talking about it will make things worse."

These concerns are understandable. Trauma can affect memory, emotions, the nervous system, and a person's sense of safety.

Fear of Not Being Believed

One of the most commonly reported barriers to disclosure is fear of disbelief.

Individuals may worry:

"What if nobody believes me?"
"What if they think I'm exaggerating?"
"What if they question why I didn't report it sooner?"
"What if I can't remember everything clearly?"

Trauma can affect how memories are stored and recalled. Variations in memory are common following highly stressful or traumatic experiences.

Shame, Guilt, and Self-Blame

Many survivors experience feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame.

Examples may include:

"Maybe I should have done something differently."
"I should have seen it coming."
"Perhaps it was somehow my fault."
"People will think I am overreacting."

These reactions are commonly reported following trauma and do not indicate responsibility for what occurred.

Responsibility for abuse or assault always lies with the person who chose to engage in the harmful behaviour.

Gender, Cultural, and Community Pressures

Some individuals face additional challenges related to cultural expectations, gender roles, family dynamics, or community beliefs.

Examples may include:

concerns about bringing shame upon the family
fear of social judgement or rejection
pressure to remain silent
concerns about being perceived differently by others
beliefs about how a person "should" respond to trauma

These factors can significantly influence a person's willingness or ability to seek support.

Concerns About Privacy

Many people worry about who will know about their experiences.

Common concerns include:

loss of privacy
community gossip
family repercussions
workplace impacts
living in a small town or close-knit community

These concerns can be particularly significant in regional communities where social networks are often closely connected.

Fear of Consequences or Retaliation

Some individuals may worry about potential consequences associated with disclosure or reporting.

These concerns can include:

retaliation from the perpetrator
relationship difficulties
family conflict
workplace impacts
legal processes
community reactions

These concerns can make decisions about disclosure feel complex and emotionally challenging.

Fear of Re-Traumatisation

For some people, the prospect of discussing their experiences with police, lawyers, medical professionals, or courts can feel overwhelming.

Individuals may worry about:

having to repeat their story multiple times
being questioned in detail
feeling disbelieved
revisiting painful memories

These concerns can influence decisions about whether and when to report.

Not Feeling Ready

Many people need time before speaking about what has happened.

Others may choose only to disclose certain aspects of their experience, while some may decide not to report at all.

Readiness is highly individual.

Seeking support does not require making a formal report.

Likewise, making a report does not require sharing more information than a person feels comfortable providing at the time.

Support Is Available

Support can be accessed whether or not a person chooses to make a formal report.

Many people find it helpful to speak with a qualified health professional in a safe, confidential environment where they can explore the emotional, psychological, and physical impacts of trauma at their own pace.

A psychologist or appropriately qualified mental health professional may assist individuals to:

understand common trauma responses
develop grounding and emotional regulation strategies
improve feelings of safety and stability
explore the impact of trauma on relationships, self-esteem, and wellbeing
process difficult emotions in a supportive environment

Accessing Support

Leigh Milne is a Registered Psychologist with experience supporting individuals impacted by trauma, sexual abuse, sexual assault, relationship difficulties, PTSD, anxiety, and emotional distress.

For information about psychology services:

www.leighmilne.com

For additional trauma-informed support services:

www.southwesttraumatherapy.com.au